Listening is often overshadowed by other competencies, as it is much easier to express our own thoughts and ideas than to patiently wait and focus on someone else’s words. However, it is essential to remember that coaching is not just about asking questions; real coaching begins with the ability to listen.
Why is Active Listening So Powerful?
Most people are capable of finding solutions to their own problems if they are given the freedom to express themselves openly. A coach who actively listens helps the client organize their thoughts and avoid external “noise.” The focused attention of the listener keeps the client’s thoughts on track, allowing them to focus on what truly matters.
Common Mistakes That Prevent Effective Listening
Even the smallest details, such as excessive nodding or repeating phrases like “okay” or “great,” can reduce communication effectiveness. While these responses may motivate the speaker, overusing them creates the impression of an automatic rather than a genuine reaction, which subtly undermines trust and distracts. It is more appropriate to reflect on what has been said or simply allow a pause, giving the person space to focus deeply on themselves.
Five Levels of Listening
Interrupting
When the listener interrupts the conversation, they show interest not in the speaker’s words but in their own thoughts. This is the most superficial level of listening, where each statement by the speaker is “overridden” by another topic. As they say, “We can't be stopped.” We have so many thoughts per second that focusing on what we’re being told can sometimes seem challenging.
Topic Hijacking
At this level, the listener shifts the focus to themselves, comparing what they hear to their own experiences. Rather than allowing the speaker to express themselves and analyze their own context, situation, and decision-making, the listener redirects the conversation to their own experiences.
Advising
Giving advice is one of the most common traps. Yes, advice can be given professionally and respectfully, but coaching is not about immediately offering solutions. Only after fully listening to the person and understanding all aspects of their situation can the coach help them find truly relevant solutions that the client holds within themselves.
Attentive Listening
This is the level where the listener is genuinely interested in the speaker’s words, deeply and without judgment. They maintain eye contact, give the speaker time to think, and are ready to keep listening, providing space.
Active Listening
At the highest level of listening, the coach not only listens but “hears” even what is not directly said. They use intuition, ask questions, and encourage the speaker to deeper self-awareness and self-reflection. Such listening helps the client not only find answers independently but also hear and understand themselves, fostering growth and self-learning.
Conclusion: One of the Eight Coaching Competencies (Active Listening) Can Take Your Collaboration with the Client to a New Level.
Each level has its place in our lives. In a coaching relationship, the value of demonstrating the competency of active listening allows the person not only to come to their own conclusions but also to have internal motivation to act according to their decisions.
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